How Can the World Be Normal?

Today I will share the blog from the other blog I post to daily. I hope you will take a minute to visit and read this.

http://wp.me/p1UxcC-2v

Dying...Last Days

My mom is dying, still she greets me with a hug and a smile. I smile back hoping she is reassured all is well, when it is not. It had been a grueling year for my husband and I. The responsibility for her care and moving her and her belongings three times as her needs grew and her space shrank. Hoping the decisions were the ones she would have made. Praying she is happy. We have spent so many hours together, me interpreting her words when the stroke had robbed her of speech. Laughing with her as she relearned to make words but not actually sentences. Playing 20 questions until I understood. Being with her for endless hours in waiting rooms, hospice when there was no hope, hospitals, therapy, nursing homes, making choices that affected her well being. Cheering as she thrived and grew stronger, signing her papers, arguing for her causes, praying I was doing the right things. She made jokes, had a twinkle in her eye, never lost her sparkle and things got better. Then a bad fall and we were starting all over again. Watching her suffer while her broken bones were healing after she demanded more of her body than it could deliver. I have learned how to transport her and a wheelchair everywhere. She turned bright yellow. More tests and the call from her doctor, she has pancreatic cancer and nothing can be done, she will be gone in two to three weeks. Today is day 44. We have lived, loved, laughed. We have taken a surprise birthday party to my brother, gone to lunch with her friends and been thankful for 43 great days. Today is the first day she has become sick. From here on out the disease is brutal. Any hurt or hate I felt often throughout my life have all vanished during the hours I have watched her overcome the impossible. I have a new appreciation for this woman who pushed me hard and was never satisfied. She wanted for me what she thought I could achieve but felt she never had. We have always loved each other but we are finally at peace with each other.  She held me so tight and long before I left tonight. I promised her my famous homemade cinnamon rolls on Friday; they are a forbidden treat, but at this point it will not make a difference in the outcome, if she can savor the flavor, we will both be happy. Lord, this will be a hard week for both of us, please keep me strong. Right now she needs my love, hugs, smiles and strength. She does not need to know my heart is breaking...

Logins, Passwords, and PINs the Rest of The Story

We dealt with the avalanche of LPPs that have to be juggled on a daily basis. Now onto the ones I use less frequently. The ones I have little hope of ever remembering. These include:

BONUS POINTS: Of course all those credit cards also have special bonuses or points or something all available for exciting viewing in your very own account using of course, your very own special login, password and PIN.

On line shopping! Every single place I have ever ordered from, knows it's me. Goodness sakes, didn't they initiate the sale by emailing me my very own personal picks along with special pricing for being their very best customer? To take advantage of all of this, I only need to login, enter my password, and my special best customer account number, plus the coupon code from the back of a catalog that is in the recycle bin at home and the today only special discount code. These codes are not permanent it is just that I didn't write them down and to back up several screens to find it puts me at the beginning. I found out the hard way that I am now back to my very own special offer page. Nothing was saved to my shopping cart so if I really want to actually purchase something I have to start all over again. Go "shopping" and find each item on it's page; select color, size, and quantity to add each item to the shopping cart all over again.

GROCERY SHOPPING Well of course, I am a smart shopper, I just forgot my card. I can use my phone number? Which one did I use? It would depend on when I got the card or did hubs set it up. What phone number would he have used?

BILLS At first it was great, they sent the information to my bank, I got a reminder from the bank and could easily set up a payment. Then the utility companies decided to protect my privacy and I can only get the bill reminder from my bank. I have to LOGIN to the utility company's website and  e-n-t-e-r my very own assigned @%$^&#'s . That would allow me to see the total due and the due date. After I tried unsuccessfully several times to LOGIN I am denied access. By then I have to log back into the bank account because I have been signed off due to inactivity to protect my security.

I have mostly solved the amount due and due date by asking for equal pay, which is never equal for the electric company, but works well for the gas company. For the electric company I add a few dollars each time to what I paid the month before. At the end of their accounting year they send me an overpayment check. Hey, it works for me.

5 email addresses 

2 Blogs

2 Websites 

ADD Uploading codes

PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZATIONS

I belong to several wonderful ones all of which have so much help and information at my finger tips, if only I could remember my ... 

DOCTOR Contacting my doctor is done online and it is so quick 

                                       and easy to order

PRESCRIPTIONS online and never run out, if only I knew the prescription numbers.

There are so many LOGINS, PASSWORDS, and PINS I quit counting. I am sure there are more to add to the list, but I couldn't remember them all. That did make me feel better, it's not memory loss it's simply  too many numbers to ever remember.

It's gotten so bad I quit writing down all my logins, passwords and necessary PINs and just pick up the phone and call. Of course my husband is also frustrated because he expects me to remember all of his LPPs as well. We are often both on the phone.

Really, I am trying to remember them all, but am giving in to requesting my password via email. That way in a few minutes I am allowed to create a whole new password, which makes my new LLP file system obsolete. I hate to admit it, but about 92 minutes ago I had to phone. Again. Currently I am listening to non-stop commercials about the joy of doing everything online. It is interspersed with a static noise I think is supposed to be their hold music. Wait, there's a voice, gotta go.

"Hi, can you help mee...."  Oh CRAP it's another commercial. 

                                                                                          

                                                     I'm

                    still on hold!                                                                                    

Shez